Funny Retirement Quotes
By using funny retirement quotes, you can help set the right mood when giving a toast to honor a retiree.
A retirement party is a time of celebration
and reflection and with the right toast, you can leave everyone with a
great memory of the moment.
The toast is often the highlight of the party.
It should always include best wishes and a statement or quote that applies to
Below are some funny quotes that can be adapted for any toast.
- There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes~
- Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to
enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. ~Jonathan Clements~
- The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. ~George Foreman~
- There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire! ~Groucho Marx~
- When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you. ~Gene Perret~
- Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long. ~Burt Reynolds~
- Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache...unless you play golf. ~Gene Perret~
- Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop~
- Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~Harry Vardon~
- If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. ~Doug Larson~
- The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. ~Abe Lemons~
- There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. ~Robert Half~
- When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. ~Virginia Graham~
- In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. ~Mason Cooley~
- Retirement, a time to enjoy life! A time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, how you want to do it. ~Catherine Pulsifer~
- Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I'm home – forever.” ~Gene Perret~
- Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. ~Gene Perret~
- I'm now as free as the breeze – with roughly the same income. ~Gene Perret~
- Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
- You have to put off being young until you can retire.
- The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
- When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house, you know you are retired.
- Retirement...is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.
- Fishing yesterday, Fishing today, Fishing tomorrow. I must be retired.
- In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.
- The down side about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
- Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
- May all that you have contributed to this company pay off in fish and birdies.
- I like retirement life. It's something to do.
- Life begins at retirement.
- Never regret growing old; not everyone has that privilege.
- I'm retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!
- The nicest part about retiring is to be able to sit at your desk for
that one last time-to review all the company problems yet to be solved,
all the corporate hassles in search of resolution, and the rocky
economic road still to be trod-and softly say to yourself,
"Th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"
- Retirement is that marvelous time of life when the sun rises and you don't.
Hopefully, these funny retirement quotes will help provide you with a heartwarming and memorable retirement toast.
LOOKING FOR AN INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE?
If you are looking for a quote that is a little more serious then take a look at these inspirational quotes.
NEED A POEM?
Maybe you would like to include a poem in your toast or on a card? If so, then take a look at some of these poems.
MORE IDEAS FOR YOUR PARTY?
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